Mom

Anyone remember that contest which I joined (and won!!) Camqueen of the Year 2010?

Well the sponsor YOU.C1000 is back with a brand new contest!

I wanted to blog about it sooner but seriously preparing for my store opening has been mad crazy.

Anyway, I went for a shoot with my mum a while ago for the contest. All I can say is... IT WAS FUN!

A few of ya'll saw the bigger pic and asked me if i did this shoot way before i had tattoos....well no! It's the power of photoshop. ;)

Anyways, back to this endearing contest...

How it works this time is you upload a picture of yourself drinking from a YOU.C1000 bottle and write a little story about how much you love your mum.

Like this!






My mom is a wonderful mom. If not for her, Ohsofickle wouldn't be what it is today! She allowed me to give up my studies to pursue my dreams! I don't know how come she believes in me lor?! I wasn't a very good girl. I was playful, i was lazy, i was never ever serious. I was the girl with messy hair, short skirt, nowhere to be seen socks, bright colored bra (somehow it was popular lor! to wear bright color bra under rather sheer uniform hahaha). The girl you would classify as a "bad kid". Who skips school all the time and only goes to school 4 times a week? And when i do, all i do is sleep in class. Teachers were sick of waking me up or scolding me. Homework? What homework? No such thing! Haha. I think i was the girl in school every good girl hates because i am just so damn different from them. SCHOOL IS PLAY. Haha. Still, despite all that, she just said "ok, i know you know what you're doing. work hard! if you think this is a wrong path, don't worry, mom will find a way to pay for your studies in the future" when i told her i want to quit school to build Ohsofickle up.

Ok, so, if you don't already know, i am not well to do. I WAS.....until my dad left the family. He didn't leave us money. Didn't leave us a house. Didn't leave us ANYTHING. Well actually, we moved out from my dad's house cus my dad's really mean to me. He scolds me and hits me all the time. Despite knowing that my dad will not come look for us if we moved out, my mom did it for me. So i wouldn't have to suffer in a house with a monster. Y'know how dads are supposed to pay for maintenance right? My "wonderful" father actually sold the house and moved somewhere else and is no where to be found! WHAT A FATHER. Where's his heart? Seriously.

So...my mom had to support me on her own. There was so much she had to pay for and her salary wasn't exactly very high too. One of the reason why i gave up studying is cus i saw how tough it was for her to pay for my school fees and give me allowance. It was so hard to get money from her to buy my school stuff! It did piss me off cus it's school stuff and I NEED it but then i soon understood that it's not that she doesn't want to give me the money to buy my stuff but instead she couldn't.

Me, being extremely spoilt and spendthrift, couldn't understand all this at that point of time. I hated my life. I hated my parents. My life took at 180 degree change. My life changed from a happy life, where money was not a problem, to a life filled with sadness and anger, because i could no longer shop with my parents weekly. Buying groceries wasn't the same anymore. I used to be able to put anything i want in the basket but could no longer do that. Hello Public Transport. I cant be chauffeured around anymore. No more big garden, where i can run around and play the swing. Where we can have house parties and BBQs. What happened to the front with the Bimmers? I no longer see all that. It's gone. It's gone forever. I couldn't bring myself to tell my friends. I grew up with friends who were pretty well to do. They didn't have all this shit in their lives. They can walk into Topshop to buy whatever. I wanted to have what my friends had too. I would save $ to buy it. After saving, i can only afford the Topshop basics. At that point of time, i'm like "ok la, at least got brand". Despite being "poor" i still must dress branded. Wtf right? It was sad cus i love clothes and had so many ideas on what to wear but couldn't dress up cus i didnt have money to. I thought to myself, "hey, if i were to bring in clothes and sell it, i can have a lot of clothes and be making money at the same time!". So my dream was to open a boutique.

I had to do something. I wish my mom had the capital to open a boutique for me. Sadly, she didn't even have extra money to spare. So with my $500 ang pow money and the support from my mom (which i needed most), i build Ohsofickle up. I wanted to make it. MAKE IT BIG. Make lots of money and a name for myself. Make sure we can lead a comfortable life again.

WHO KNEW ALL THAT COULD REALLY COME TRUE?

I am so happy now. From where i was to where i am now, i've came a looooong way. I actually changed for the better. I am no longer that spoilt child i was!

And i really hope to work harder and make Ohsofickle even bigger so my mom can retire happy.... :) All that suffering she went thru shows what a strong woman she is. I used to scold her....i used to blame her. But what i lost, she lost it too. She lost even more than i did in fact. I remember days scolding her, scolding her for the stupidest things. She put up with all of my nonsense. Loved me and took care of me. Was there for me all the time. I love you, Mom.

Ok i know this post is supposed to be about my mom and i kinda went off track a bit....sorry ahahaha.

OK ANW, even if you're not interested in the contest, each bottle of YOU.C1000 comes with 1000mg of Vitamin C (good for your skin!) and it's yummy so go buy it and give it a try!

If you win, you win..... A FREE TRIP TO TAIWAN FOR 2!!

Super worth it! You can bring anyone (it’s not only limited to your mum) with you to Taiwan and join as many times as you want! Just need to use a different picture and story. :)

Check out www.youc1000.com/mothersday for more details!

Contest ends on 1st July so don’t miss out!

Gramps

I'm writing this with so much sadness in me and I have to write to feel better.
Today my phone decided to die so I spent an evening with a dead phone. Got home only to receive The News. Bad news.
I was told my grandpa fell in the bus and is in critical condition. And I started to think about him.....like I never really did before. Yknow....I respect my grandpa a lot. I don't know how old he is but he IS old and hasn't retired. He's a workaholic. He cannot stop working in his factory and he does it everyday. Even the weekends are spent in his factory. Even chinese new year, he'll go back to work. I've never heard anyone at his age worked so hard.
No one understands why. He should be retiring and living the life man? He is so old, he has made tons of money, he has tons of money I'm sure.....even if he doesn't have all that money, he isn't alone, his kids are around to give him allowance. Still, he chose to work. He finds pleasure in working I guess? And I'm sure he has a reason too but chooses to leave it unsaid. By work, I do not mean sitting on a desk and being on a computer. His work is like knocking wood etc? He has enough workers to do that but he still works so hard?
He is so humble. With all that money earned, he should be going on holidays....exploring the world, eating all the good expensive food. But no, he chose to save every cent, like reeeally scrimp? Wakes up at 6am, takes a bus to work, then come back late at night, do the same. His factory is in defu lane and the walk from the bus stop to the factory is soooo not near at all! But no such thing as taking a cab for him. Or buying a car to drive himself to work daily. I don't know why but I feel he's doing all this for his kids. For his kids to be able to enjoy? Idk man....idk. I feel sad, he doesn't wanna go enjoy with the money he has made. He doesn't want to at all! Why???
I do hope he'll be fine. I do hope my uncles and aunties will plan a holiday for him. A good one. Let him enjoy and splurge.....for once in his life. I pray all will go fine....that he will be okay! I don't want him to go just like that:( it's too sudden.....no warning no nothing! :( I hope he stops working so hard and tiring himself. Looking at how old and frail he is just saddens me. Pray God will give him a chance to enjoy life. Tonight I pray....
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Wordy

I was drunk. And despite the fact I was drunk because I was upset with my bf, when I started puking and felt helpless, I wanted to see him. It's so hard to stay angry at him. It's just so hard. I keep telling myself not to give in. I must stand strong on what I believe in - that once trust is gone, the relationship will just spiral down.

At the same time, I also am a person who believes in 2nd chances. So I had to choose...

Well, comparing my scenario to many scenarios I heard of, mine is really very minor. Cus I'm extremely sensitive and see a lot of things as "cheating", not necessarily just sleeping around.

You people reading this space might not see it but I have very low confidence in myself. I know on my blog I seem like I'm extremely confident and all but nah, I'm really not that confident. I dont know why but there are people who meet me and tell me "i read your blog and i thought you would be very proud and snobbish".....lol? Really meh? Anyhow, behind it all, i am the typical super insecure girlfriend - REALLY annoyingly insecure with everything, top to toe (not big enough boobs, too fat legs, eyes not wide enough, nose not sharp enough, hair not soft enough..etc), and also inside me (not smart enough as i only hold an Olevel cert, not rich enough, no patience, mood swings are super extreme, behave like a kid and a princess...etc). I can easily list 50 things I'm not happy about myself!!!

I'm constantly comparing myself with other people and feel like my bf deserves someone better and that is prolly why I was so affected when another girl i feel was better looking and suited him more came into the picture for that one night.

However, i saw the other part of him when I said we should go our seperate ways. I saw how sorry he was. I saw him in tears. I felt his pain. He couldve let me go, i really am not the best girl around (just scroll up to see my imperfections? Lol)...but no he didnt and theres a reason why and that is same reason why i am giving this another shot.

I am definitely not his best gf. In fact, I think I'm the worst gf he has ever had! Really. He has told me how he his past relationships were like and man, his ex girlfriends are reaIly very nice! Nothing like the way I behave and treat him. Nothing! And I don't understand why he can break up with them but tolerate me? Why does he even want to salvage this? Definitely not how i treat him, his exes treat him 10x better. Looks? No, I'm not even that pretty. It's just make up, and in fact his exes are prettier. Fame? Uh no, he doesn't even like it when I post pictures of him on my blog. Money? Definitely not, I'm not even rich. Then whaaaaaaat?!

Well maybe it's Love then. Love makes us crazy. Makes us blind. You dont need 101 reasons to love someone, you just....love? It makes us see things in people no one else can. It's got to be love why he's still fighting for me, right?

You'd say, then if he love you, why he do shit to you? Well that day I was talking to a guy friend and he said "if you eat prawn mee everyday for years, then suddenly give you one mee pok, you would want to try a bit right?"and that makes sense right? That prawn mee has to be yummy enough to be able to satisfy the guy for years and for him to be able to resist the mee pok right? If it sucks for years and when one day, he gets the opportunity to try something new, why wouldn't he? I know of many guys with that kinda mentality! It's fucked up! Guys are not like girls. We are wired differently and we girls need to remember that. I'm not saying every guy and every girl has the same mentality but MOST.

I know, I'm not the best tasting prawn mee around, and I will now learn to be, so that'll give him no reason to want to try something new. If he does, at least i know im not to be blamed? Cus ive already done the best i could and it will be his loss. I'm sure wan ton mee, laksa, mee hoon kuey are going to come by...but he wouldn't wanna try those if I'm already satisfying him and enough. Right?

Most guys are gonna want to try something different one day if what they have isnt making them satisfied and making them happy. That prolly explains why there are many brothels around and they're surviving? Either we find out, or never do. Its scary right? But scared also like that...what to do? Isn't life all about taking risks? Everyday we are all taking risks! Say eg when want to get from point a to point b. You drive, you are putting your life at risk! You have a chance of getting into an accident and losing your life. You may be the most careful driver around, but that doesn't mean there are no risks, a big careless drunk lorry driver can still crush your car. But you still drive. Cus you have to get to point B. In love, it is kinda the same. You have to risk your heart from getting broken or you will never know how beautiful love is. It is the most wonderful feeling ever. Dont risk breaking your heart then you will never ever get that "love and be loved" happiness.

We are human, we all make mistakes right? I've never been so attached to someone. I've never had someone treat me so well before. Yes, he was always so perfect in my eyes - All a girl wants in a guy.

This one mistake he made shouldnt just erase all the good he has done for me. Of course it will leave a scar, In fact, im not entirely over the whole issue yet...but it'll take time? It'll take time for me to trust him again. And time for him to prove himself and do things to earn the trust i lost in him.

2012 is coming...a new year, new resolutions. I will work towards a better me!

This coming 2012, I will work on being less demanding. Need to stop expecting too much when i myself am unable to give that much. I also need to learn to be proud of what I'm doing and quit comparing myself to the girls around him. Yknow, education is important, it's sad I can't afford it that's why I gave it up. I really am not proud to just be an O level cert holder. Everyone around me has at least a diploma! :( or maybe in 2012, I'll pick up a part-time course since I kinda can fund myself for studies now? So I need not feel stupid around people.

No one is perfect and there'll always be room for improvement. They say as you grow older, you become wiser and a better person. It's true only if you choose to acknowledge your imperfections and work on it. And I do hope those of you reading this will do your self-reflection and find something about yourself to improve on in the coming 2012.

May everyone who follows this blog grow up with me to become better people! X

P.s I don't get why so many comments are asking when I say satisfy my bf, means having sex? Lol. That's not what I meant lah! I meant being a nicer gf to keep ur bf happy!!! And walao, u think I'd openly tell y'all how my sex drive is like meh?!